I finally had a discussion with her recently and told her that we need to be more tolerable with each other in the future
I recently found out that my spouse has a habit of suppressing some of her real feelings. I wish that she felt more comfortable speaking her mind, despite the fact that I learned that it’s from past relationships where her partners were actually abusive. At times, she was judged just for having a particular interest in certain films for instance. She had a partner that would make fun of her just for liking Disney and Marvel films. Now to be fair, I’m not a huge fan of Disney or Marvel myself. I have gone through phases where I have actually hated watching superhero films. But I love my spouse unconditionally and I would never be hateful towards one of her interests. I especially wouldn’t criticize or scrutinize her just for liking something that I do not like myself. Unfortunately, she has internalized this with a lot of things, including her temperature preferences when it comes to our Heating and A/C system. I tell my spouse all the time that she should be tolerable about where she wants us to set the temperature control for the air conditioner or heater. However, she often just goes along with whatever she knows I prefer. I finally had a discussion with her recently and told her that we need to be more tolerable with each other in the future. If she wants a different temperature in the house than me, all she has to do is speak up or just change the temperature control herself. I want my spouse to feel comfortable expressing her opinions, even when it comes to a heating and cooling system.