Several years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I got down on one knee and pulled out a large sparkly ring from my pocket. I then asked my girlfriend to marry me and set off a whole series of events that would leave me ruined. You see, I thought that getting married was the right move… But apparently I was the only one. As we planned an expensive wedding and invited everyone to save the date, it turns out that my bride-to-be was having second thoughts. I should have known on our wedding day that something was awry – beyond the stupid air conditioning system that broke down. For the past few weeks, the temperature had been hot and cold between my fiance and I. It felt like we were always fluctuating between burning hot and ice cold. I did not think that our relationship thermostat was malfunctioning to the degree that she’d call off the wedding… but apparently I was underestimating how broken our relationship had become. On the day of the wedding, she refused to come out of her air purified dressing room. The bride insisted that she was having horrible allergies and could not breath in the venue heating and cooling system without HEPA air filters and purification equipment to remove the irritating indoor air pollution. Things only got worse as the venue’s commercial AC unit broke down entirely. I should have seen this heating and cooling failure as a sign for the times to come, but instead I called the local HVAC repair shop and took my rightful place at the altar. The problem was, the HVAC technician showed up… but my bride never did. The air quality issue was all an excuse; she never even put on her gown.